Coasters Anonymous

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Beneath The Sand V2
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AlasForCeleborn 681

"Good afternoon, everyone," Dwalin said amiably; not a hint of malice was in his eye as he looked around the room, where others might have scowled at the company around the Dwarf, "I see some new faces here. Please, why don't you introduce yourselves? There is no judgement here, don't worry."

The tall Elf at Dwalin's side stood up, and called out, "My name is Argalad. I am a scout of King Thranduil. I can lower an enemy in the staging area's by my , and deal 1 damage to them if that reduces their to 0. I also have ranged, for when there is an enemy not in the staging area but engaged with another player."

"And how much attack, friend Argalad," Dwalin asked, "do you have at base?"

Flushed with embarrassment, Argalad replied, "2, the same as my , making there no difference between me questing with my and reducing an enemy's with my ."

"No difference save timing," Dwaling cheerfully laughed, clapping the Elf on the back, "and that 1 point of direct damage. It is a small difference, my friend, but oft are the small difference the ones that change the world. Anyone else?"

"Lanwyn am I," a fiery-haired woman from Dale announced, "I, too, am a Scout, but for King Brand, not Thranduil. Like our Elf-friend, too, I have ranged, to thwart the encounter deck from afar. I may also thwart it in the quest phase, by reacting to its trickery by either readying or increasing my ."

"And what causes you to do that, friend Lanwyn?" Dwalin asked.

"The appearance of surge," she sneered, "that loathsome keyword that lurks abundantly in Saga and Ring-maker but little elsewhere."

"Ah," Dwalin smiled, "Like me, then, you are incredibly dependent on the encounter deck. Don't worry, I understand perfectly. But, tell me, who else is here tonight?"

"Lindon Navigator," an Elvish sailor called out, "I have 2 and don't exhaust to quest, but my forced discarding of a card after I quest is a hefty price."

"Yet you are also and have 1 ," Dwalin cheered, "and that is a bargain."

"Linhir Sea-captain am I," a man of Gondor sighed, "I sail the seas, and require an ocean of resources to reach my maximum effectiveness, which isn't stellar."

"Our sponsor," Dwalin said, gesturing to a dwarf in the crowd, "is more than willing-and able-to help you offset the cost of reaching your full potential."

"Mirkwood Explorer," a shaggy, unkempt man croaked, "3 cost ally without an ability that screams out for errata."

"But worthwhile nonetheless," Dwalin assured him, before, with a twinkle in his eye, adding, "And you may yet be wrong about the power of your ability."

"Robin Smallburrow, if it please you, Mr. Dwalin," a Hobbit piped up, "I don't know why I'm here, rightly. I'm 2 cost for 2 in , and I have 2 . Even ignoring my text box, that's pretty good right there. Why don't more people-"

"Quickbeam," the whole room answered.

The Hobbit frowned, then grumbled, "Stupid Quickbeam. What genius decided to give a 2 cost ally 3 , in of all places? It's not fair to the rest of us, it isn't."

"My friends," Dwalin said, standing up, "I am honored to stand among you all tonight. Where the great and wise of the world see weaklings, failures, and grocers, I see only men and women of the Free Peoples, all willing to do their part, however small, to fight Sauron. And, as I told friend Argalad, oftentimes the smallest of actions can have the biggest effects. Argalad, do you remember when we were investigating the Seventh Level for Balin, to see if it was safe for the colony, and a Goblin archer attacked?"

"He learned the hard way that he was not the only one to use a bow," the Elf smiled.

"Linhir Sea-captain," Dwalin continued, "do you remember when you lended Lanwyn your aid, allowing you both to quest without exhausting; that allowed you to distract the enemy in the combat phase, and Lanwyn to counter attack."

"Mirkwood Explorer, you are 2 and 2 . Whatever your text box, that, at least, will always prove useful."

"You, all of you," Dwalin said, gesturing to the room, "are all worthy of a place at the gaming table. You might require a bit more support to be effective, yes-but so does Glóin.

"If there's one thing I want you all to take away from these meetings of ours', it's what dear old Bilbo Baggins taught me, Thorin, and the others, all those years ago;"

"'Good things,'" the group all chimed, chanting the motto of Coasters Anonymous "'can come in the humblest packages.'"

4 comments

Oct 17, 2019 InterDan 34

I chortled out loud just seeing the deck name. Good work!

Oct 18, 2019 Warden of Arnor 5754

I will fight the miscreant who dares call Argalad a coaster.

Oct 18, 2019 AlasForCeleborn 681

@Warden of Arnor agreed. The rest of the world might call Argalad a coaster, but he's actually really really good. That 1 point of direct damage comes in handy a lot more than you'd think it does.

Oct 20, 2019 Oldoly 1

Very well done! @AlasForCelebornreally appreciate the time and thought you put into this.